Overview

Oh let's see, who shall be the subject of my rightful wrath today? There are just so many people, who pretended to be our friends, who told us to call them if we needed any help, who turned around and stabbed us in the back. Most of them were in a social group we used to be in, who felt their little shithouse threatened when we had the nerve to stand up and say that we didn't like what the self-appointed leader of this group was doing. It's amazing when you have social deviants, they will protect their sanctuary at all costs. They think they are such mavericks, such rebels, bucking the "normalcy" of society and its rules. Yet within their own group they have no individuality and refuse to question the status quo that so pisses them off about mainstream society. It's a sad irony that's laughable on so many points. A social group made up of lies and manipulation is better, to them, than having to live without a social group of like-minded people. So they're willing to suddenly not have minds of their own just so they have a place to go and play and "be themselves." Yet they aren't being themselves because they're all alike - they won't rock the boat or state an opinion for fear of losing the one place they can go. It is such a lie and a joke. And these are the fucked in the head losers who deign to tell us that we aren't supporting the "scene," and threaten to beat up my husband in dark alleys.

It was sure an eye-opener to us when we stated our dissatisfaction with how things were being "run" by the little cunt who was leading everyone around by the nose. We'd heard others grumbling about her, but we were the ones who stood up and complained. Do you think our so-called friends would stand by us? Hell no. I'm quite pissed off that we wasted time on any of these low-lifes. Not only are they afraid to stand up for what they claim to believe, they have no integrity, no loyalty, no individuality. It was a complete waste of time, and I'm glad that we found out the caliber of "friends" that we had.

There was a time in my life that I had a gut feeling that I really couldn't trust anyone and I was better off keeping things to myself and having very few friends. I loosened up a bit and reached out, and this is what happened. I was right all along - there is no point in expending emotional effort on very many people. There are a handful whom we still call friends, but even some of those are a bit suspect in my book. I don't tell personal details about myself and our life to very many people. Why waste my time? Experience shows that, overall, people only want to get to know you to see what they can get from you. I'm not talking about money or tangible things. People want someone to listen to them, someone they can lean on emotionally, or use emotionally. We were older than a lot of our friends, and we were like their "cool" parents. We served as anchors of safety and sanity - until we dared speak our minds. We were used. I won't ever be duped again.

My husband is more forgiving, and more willing to let some of these idiots back into our life. Not me. I have no interest in socializing with people who wouldn't stand by us. Fuck them. I'd just as soon see them all burn in hell. My time is precious and valuable. I'm not giving it to them. Being alone or with my husband is much more worthwhile. I know he's been wanting to have a social circle again, and I'm okay with that as long as it doesn't include anyone who's fucked us over. Some of these losers still try to pretend to be our friends. Fuck that.

So I guess you could say at the bottom of my deep disgust and disdain for all these people who piss me off is a feeling of having been betrayed, and a feeling of self-loathing for letting them screw us over. I feel I should have seen what sort of shallow cowards they all were.